HOley MOLEy!!

Here's some Sunday mornin' humor for you...mostly because I'm in a rush...but also because it's been requested to find something else to look at besides Paula's insane tears!!

Mama mole, Papa mole and Baby mole all live in a little hole. One morning Papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says: "Yum, I smell maple syrup!"

Then Mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says" "Yum, I smell strawberry jam!"

Baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but he can't because Mama mole and Papa mole are in the way! He whines: "Jeez...all I can smell is MOLasses!!"

Haha...get it?? MOLE asses!! Give me a's Sunday morning!!


Hush hush...

Over this guy...

It's gotta be the teeth...because they're enough to make me weep too, Paula! I'll send you some Kleenex...better yet...some Puffs Plus. They have lotion right in the tissue so your nose doesn't get all his teeth!!

Cry it out,'ll be ok!

A weird world...

I know you're thinking this will be about *NSync...but really...does EVERYTHING have to be about *NSync? Well, yes...but this isn't completely one of those times.

Back in the day, I think I was about 15...I was in Portsmouth in a store some of you youngins may not recall...Woolworths. I was with some of my cousins, and my Aunt Julie. We were walking around the store when this oaf started following a few of us. I'm sure some may have been too young to remember, in fact I only know for sure that Elizabeth and Maryanne and possibly Young Julie were present. At any rate, the oaf, who was clearly not in his right mind, begins to stalk us around the store. We think nothing of it because we're teenagers and so obviously invincible. Plus, how much harm can come to us in such a reknowned retail establishment such as Woolworths? I remember looking at New Kids posters (I'm not ashamed to say it!! I still pray for a reunion!!) and my cousin Maryanne looking up all pale and with this strange look on her face. The oaf had come up behind me and put his hand on my hair and started whispering " like blood!" Elizabeth started to tear through the store screaming for my Aunt. Maryanne and I took off and met up at the front of the store to see the manager physically removing the guy as he yelled "Youth is wasted on the young...and what do the young want to be?? NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!" As his statement was completely false (we didn't want to BE the New Kids, we just wanted to admire them!), and the occurrence was completely is now just "one of those stories to laugh at in our older and wiser years."

Let me now bring you to present day "weirdo activity." After work I made my way to the mall area in South Portland. I had to pick up some things for an event in my store next week, so I figured today would be a perfect opportunity to do some 'apres work' shopping. As I walked into I-Party, a store I can usually walk around for well over an hour and not even realize ten minutes has passed, I walked in with some guy who held the door for me and made eye contact with me. I politely said "thank you," and ventured into the store. Immediately taken by the Red Sox items, I spent some time in the aisle which housed them. The guy was also in the aisle, and I thought nothing of it since well, he was a's a party store...and it's Red Sox stuff. Not finding anything that I needed (notice I didn't say wanted)...I traveled around the store in search of my intended purchase. I was in the aisle with the Hawaiian leis (don't ask) and found it weird that the guy had ventured to the same location. I looked up out of curiosity and realized he was looking right at me. He wasn't even hiding it. I made an uncomfortable smile and looked away quickly. I moved out of the aisle thinking I was just being sensitive and crazy. I went to the baby items thinking there was no way a guy would be there. I was wrong. I realized after being in the store for about 15 minutes that this guy wasn't giving up. I was freaking out and just wanted to leave. As I was making my purchase I realized I really didn't want to get into my car and basically lead him to it. Granted, for all I know he saw me get out...but I wasn't taking any chances. I left the store and started walking down the sidewalk figuring I could just walk further down and circle back. And people, it wasn't even like this derelict was hiding what he was doing. It was so creepy! I got about half way down the sidewalk of the mall and realized he was behind me. I tried to duck into Newbury Comics but he rushed up and got the door for me...again. He looked at me all creepy and I thought I was in the clear because that store is so crowded with crap I could easily escape him. No dice. I stood at the front of the store, again, with my trusted Red Sox items. I found some stickers to purchase and went to the counter to buy them...deciding this was all in my mind and I was just going to get out of here and go home. My phone rings, it's my mom but I ignore the call because I just want to concentrate on the matter at hand.

The girl at the counter says "You know that guy is staring at you right?"

"Excuse me?"

In a very quiet voice, she says: "Yeah, he's a of the other guys just went to get the manager. You'll just want to leave when he's distracted. I'm sorry-he's been asked not to come in here because he makes people uncomfortable."
With that a couple of guys came out and start yelling at the whackadoo..."Not cool, buddy! Not cool!"

He protested and said that he would leave. I bombed out of the store and went back to my car hoping they would keep him long enough so he wouldn't be out of the store for me to see again. I won't lie, I was really ready to lose it...but never I'm here and safe and sound and blogging again. Sigh. Go with God:) And don't worry...I'll be steering clear of the I-Party in South Portland from now on!!

I'm just hoping that this becomes "one of those stories I can laugh at" someday...


Sorry, Juanita!!

I don't want you all to think I'm a big jerk:( (Though I'm sure many of you do regardless!!) I took "Juanita's Casita" off of my list of "Blog Joy" only while it is down for the count!! I have replaced it with my husband Bill's Blog concerning the Donald Trump Show that counts for something right??

Last night's episode was probably my favorite of the season. Firstly the project was so interesting, it actually made me want to run off to NYC...I've done that before at the behest of Danny DeVito though...but it still counts! I'm so sick of the whiskey tango product promotion (7-11, Spam, Grapenuts, TrumpWigs)...this episode was refreshing. I was also elated to see Andrea finally go. Her ridiculous facial expressions are worse than Paris' phoney tears on American Idol! I've been sick of her attitude since she started bawling because Brent came back from the board room way back when. She has a bad attitude and is ROTTEN with people. I'm glad Trump finally saw her for the "Baggodouche" she really is! Roxanne had a great argument to oust her, and it impressed me that she's finally getting some recognition from Trump as well. She dealt with Andrea very tactfully when Roxanne was PM. They won because she was the PM and in spite of Andrea's nonsense. I think she could and may take the whole thing now. And seriously, I'm ALL set with Mini-Trump coming back again...he totally skeeves me out!! At least Ivanka gets all into it like's obvious she knows what she's doing. Lil' Trump needs to work on his wig and get some styling tips from George if he's going to sit in his seat!

Juanita, seriously, forgive me!! Just let me know when you're back in business and you'll go right back up again!!


Gratuitous Vartan pic...

Seeing as I have to get up at a ridiculous hour to drive a ridiculous amount of time and pay a ridiculous amount of money on gas...tonight has to be short and SWEET! So I'm keeping it brief as I was outed for not posting, and deservedly so.

He's just hot, and seeing as My Boy Bill wasn't on the Donald Trump show tonight (thanks a LOT lil' us ALL a favor and don't come back!!) then I felt it necessary to find peaceful slumber with the visions of Vartan gorgeousness dancing in my head!

Somehow I think I'll never be more mature than a 14 year old...but I don't really care:)

Sleep tight little ones...Sweeeeeet Dreams!!


You say it's your birthday??

It's Tony's birthday too!!
Yes, we should all do a special round of "6 Degrees of Tony Danza" today as he celebrates his 55th birthday!!
Happy Birthday, Tony...and thanks for ALL the laughs (at your expense!!)


Best Brokeback Parody Yet...

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!

And I hate to say I told you, that's a lie...I kind of like it!! My Michael Vaughn is alive...and that is the only satisfaction I can get out of the show being cancelled! Everyone is coming back, I wouldn't be surprised to see Francie rise from the dead...but that would be kind of pushing it...kind of:) Even Will Tippin is back! Weiss is back to save the day...I maintain he's been off taking care of Vaughn...or at the very least looking for him. When they figure out Sydney's been kidnapped then I'm sure that will be their excuse to come back in the picture. Weiss' role on LOST was shortlived anyway...literally...he was the pilot of the plane that was dismantled by the "security system" freaky creature on the island.

I'm looking forward to this evening's events...know this...from 7:59 to 10:02 EST I will be in an Alias coma...there will be no American Idol...I'm still boycotting anyway!! No Little House re-runs...just me and Vaughn...and the rest of the Alias 'peeps.' I may flip to the Red Sox...but only during commercials and I'm taping it to watch later anyway!! So don't get sick, or in trouble, or go to jail and require my help in any way...I will be indisposed!!

PS-I have PLENTY to say about last night's episode of Gilmore Girls (which I'm hoping Nancy watched to see Sebastian Bach!!), but that will have to keep until after this evening!



Generally I'm not a fan of the idea of SNL Digital's supposed to be a live show after all...but this clip from the other night is just hilarious. I was on the floor when they "cocked the weapons." I'm a sucker for cat humor though..."Damn these laser cats!"

Another good one to check out is "The Chronicles of Narnia" from the same SNL series...Parnell rapping is priceless.


For the love of 'Peeps'

When it comes to 'Peeps,' I would say I'm a traditionalist. I grew up with the yellow ones, and on rare occasion the pretty pink ones. The Easter Bunny would leave them in our baskets, out in the open so they could suck in all the air and become stale. 'Peeps' are probably the only food that is not only acceptable when stale, but better as well. Now if you go to the store there are a zillion different colors, and I've heard that some people even eat them without allowing the aging process to occur. Sick bastards. They are also available at other times of the year...but it just isn't the same.

At any rate, in my previous post I linked the official 'Peeps' website. Upon further investigation of the site I found a recipe tab...and someone linked a photo (which I won't show) of "Stir Fry Peeps." There was also another website listed that is dedicated to 'Peeps' in Cooking. I thought it was a joke, but there are photos that coincide with the recipes...and "Stir Fry" isn't the worst of them.

So here are some websites dedicated to 'Peeps.' Probably one of the most insane...and kind of scary (seriously, you think I have time on my hands because of this blog!) is 'Lord of the Peeps.' There are just no words....but enjoy them, and Happy Easter!

The Official Marshmallow Peeps Page

Cooking with Peeps

Lord of the Peeps

Peeps Show (Perv...I knew that would get your attention!)

Peeps Strike Back

Peep Research

There are dozens lie...but I think you get the gist:) Happy happy!


A holiday wish...

Happy Easter Everyone!!
I know a lot of "peeps" are leaving early for a long weekend so I wanted to send my well wishes for a happy and safe Easter Holiday!
Don't eat too much candy and end up with the rumples in your tummy!
(And I've changed the trivia topic until Monday to coincide with the holiday! Click on the link here or above to read about the History of Easter...including why it's on a different day every may help improve your scores and get Reverand Aldern off his bible beating high horse!! Play on!!)


A Very "Reesie" Birthday...

What do David Letterman and Shannen Doherty have in common? They are blessed enough to share a birthday with me!!
I would like to point out that Shannen played Jennie Wilder on Little House for a few years, before making it big and getting in bar fights. I'm sure that all her training on Little House was a huge help for her...I hear that Victor French himself taught her how to throw a good bitch slap!

Thank you all who have sent such lovely birthday wishes!! I don't know why all of you think I'm 30...but God Bless you for thinking so!! I like to call it "29.2" It is amazing how much of a difference 24 hours makes...especially when I take it as a compliment that people think I'm only 30!! Thanks also to Kim, Linda, and Maggie for "celebrating early" with me at the was mortifying to say the least...but definitley entertaining! I'll never forget that moose!! Big props to Nancy for her post today...I laughed out loud...especially because it's all true!!!! Big thanks to Drewbie and Allison for the post on "the original never could be duplicated" BenSpark!! I'm sure I'll have more wishes of thanks to give as the day goes on...and if I don't...well then I already know who my friends are!! Haa!

Have a happy Wednesday everybody!!!!


AI Papi!!

How about 2 hours of the "DTS?" Nice! Where are they coming up with these locations though...freaking Arby's?? 7-11?? 7-11 wasn't even that cool when Justin Timberlake did a video in front of one!! I would love to see a show from Spam headquarters-just to watch Andrea throw up! I won't post the scores from the fantasy game because I don't want anyone accusing me of cheating and because I don't want to rub in the fact that I'm smoking all your arses!! Oops!

Not a whole lot going on in Reese-ville...there was a new Gilmore on tonight which was pleasant considering my self imposed ban on AI!! I did cheat and see a few performances during commercial breaks...I was just really curious to see how these fools handled Queen. I heard on the radio that there was "more to" Mandisa getting the hook than just votes. ALLEGEDLY she's adamantly against homosexuality for religious reasons. But isn't that just like AI to turn the bad press away from what we all know is the real reason she's gone? Turn the tables AI...that's cool. But did anyone else see when Bucky was practicing that Mandisa was in the clip and looking very angry toward the stage...maybe it was her ghost (a la Grady Little!) come back to haunt the contestants...or perhaps it was just Randy in drag...

My plans for Easter are exciting and joyful:) I will spend Saturday with my cousin and her family, as well as Peggy coloring Easter eggs and watching the SOX! Best present ever is Big Papi signing the dotted line for another 4 years!! Sunday we will proceed to Hull to visit with Nana. I'm sure we'll be there in plenty of time for the Sox game too!

Happy Happy everyone!!


Hold me close now, Tony Danza...

Yes, he is a graceful oaf, isn't he? Alright, I had decided to post about this new game my cousin Lauren came up with...and my thunder was totally stolen by my cousin Nancy!! It's fine, you can read her post about the details of "6 Degrees of Tony Danza." I swear it's our ticket on the show, but with rumors of it's impending doom, we may just be doing it for "s & g's" after all.

Nancy was "thrown the gauntlet" last week...and did envision quite a successful route from Tarek on "The Donald Trump Show" to "The Danza." I was challenged to get Reese Witherspoon to Tony...seeing as she has stolen my name. I was absolutey blocked, and couldn't figure it out. I went a ridiculous route through William Shatner or some nonsense. Of course, I was extremely disappointed in myself and decided I could and would do better. It steamrolled my brain all week...not that me getting off track should surprise any of you by now. My problem is that I have a brain positively soaked with the most USELESS knowledge one brain can hold. Where was I going wrong. I knew the key was the movie "Crash," because surprisingly enough the Danza appeared for a few moments in the movie. (**Please note I verified the info, and did see with my own two eyes his presence in the film...and yes, you can be scared of me!) On Friday, I was making my way from Maine Med (I accompanied a friend for some pre-natal tests...not to worry!) to work and all of a sudden it dawned on me!! I can link Reese to Danza in ONE FRIGGING DEGREE!!! I laughed out loud in my car and immediately called Lauren to let her know my news!! I had to leave a message-which was even more admittedly pathetic...but worth it!! So here's the moment you've all been waiting for...

Reese Witherspoon was in Cruel Intentions (and is married to!!) Ryan Phillipe...


HAHA...I can sleep again!!

Happy Birthday(s)!!!

Happy Birthday today to TWO very fun people...Katie and Drewbie!! And who DOESN'T love the idea of W bursting out of a cake?? Sorry...I saw it and couldn't resist!!

To make up for it...I thought I'd "build you a cake or something..." my friends are delivering it to your doorsteps...



No internet=No posts!!

Here I am!! I've gotten the hate here we are with some things I need to get out of MY mind so they can infest your brainwaves and leave me at peace!

Roger Clemens: I don't think there's a great chance that the Rocket will return to the Sox...but I do have faith that if anyone can get him back it's going to be Theo. This will be interesting to see play out in the next few weeks...I won't say I'd hate to see it happen...but I'm not going to get all excited yet. The man WAS a Yankee for too long, and that's what makes me not able to trust him 100%!!

Mandisa leaving AI: Just for future reference I'm done with this show. I don't care that Taylor is still's not like he'll win anyway. The most talented one was voted off last night for unethical reasons...plain and simple. She was the one with the most talent and that cannot be doubted. I will not sit and watch while people like Paris and Bucky continue on. Goodnight, was fun while it lasted!

The Apprentice: Oh my GOD Bryce was unbearable! I could NOT believe the low class hijinx in the boardroom. Then to turn the tables and say that TRUMP needs to learn how to listen...please!!?? Tarek survived again...but now he's playing the game. I think he purposely made the appauling suggestion that the rest of the team was afraid of him and that's why he was a target for the boardroom so that he would finally stay out. His Mensa skills are showing, because the egos on that team refused to let him in there!

LOST: I've been watching the first season on DVD which helps substantially with things that are going on now. I've really had no choice because Peggy is now addicted and for the past 3 nights I've had to make her leave to go to bed instead of watching all night long! She is funny watching it...and really picks up on some things that I don't. long as it's not frigging Full House I'm it's a bonus that I actually enjoy this show!!

The Soprano's: Did anyone see The Gilmore Girls on Pauly's mother's TV that he threw out the window?? Priceless:)

Gilmore Girls: They're baaaaa-aaack!! Finally...I think it was February 1978 when the last new episode aired!! Rory is pathetic as ever and actually allowed Logan to get away with his shenanigans!!!! That will end quickly though because Jess is coming back to play:) Lorelai has to talk to Luke about the April's killing me. I love that Emily and Richard are trying to buy a place in Star's Hollow...this will be interesting I'm sure.

New Car: I've actually been looking to get a new one...but that won't happen until next fall...well after the wedding is over and well before the snow falls again. Wait...snow fell yesterday...does that mean I can get a new car now???


Happy New Year Red Sox fans!!!

I'd like to witness a few things this

One of these...well, a bunch of these...but most importantly I'd like them to occur in the fall...about October...I think it's pretty...don't you??

Because if I see one of those...then I can go to another parade...and who doesn't love a parade?
Pedro seemed to like it...

And look how happy Gabe the Babe was to attend a parade...even on a crummy day where it was cold and there was no where to go potty (privately)...see how much he enjoyed it?

So I think it's's a shiny new year for Red Sox Nation...

and all you have to do is


Go SOX!!