Yvan Eht Nioj!

This weekend I'm off to see a man about a boat. I think it's a lucrative investment, and it will be more pleasant to make my commute by sea rather than via the Maine Turnpike.

Yeah, not so much. I'm off to Maine Maritime Academy to help out this weekend. The students are buying books and being fitted for uniforms and such. I've been told it's a "fun" day, but I think that may have just been said to get me there in the first place. Who knows, maybe I'll love it...and they are looking for a manager up there:) Yeah, that's NOT going to happen!! It's 4 hours from York...I really would need a boat just to come back and visit!

Have a great weekend everybody!!

PS-Two points if you can translate the title of this blog and explain it's origin!

Sharks and Weddings have nothing in common.

I know, you all think that York Beach has recently turned into Amity Island with all the alleged shark sightings. I'm sure, knowing my intense and somewhat irrational fear of sharks you think for the past two days I've been holed up in my basement refusing to leave until York's version of Jaws was unquestionably eliminated by the local Chief Brody. You'll be amazed to know that I actually went to the beach in search of the dreaded beast, just so I could say I saw it, and lived to tell the tale. All I saw were news vans and jackass Canadians wearing speedos. So the threat of sharks has passed and the beaches are open once again. Welcome back, tourists!



Now, what does the picture of Elizabeth have to do with sharks? Absolutely nothing...otherwise I wouldn't have posted it. Der. Actually, tonight we watched the video of my sister's wedding and it was awesome. I immediately was brought back to that day, only about a month and a half ago. Even better, was seeing things I had missed due to my "maid of honor duties," and the gazillion times my mother dragged us all off for another photo. So, because I never really did a "re-cap" on the wedding...I've decided to do a re-cap in the form of a list, my favorite moments from the wedding, or rather, the dvd.

#10. The Wedding Singer. Priceless. I got busted for laughing, but I'm sorry...the kid reminded me of Jessica Simpson...and that ain't good! Hearing him sing "Gentle Woman" almost got me a "face squeeze," but it would have been worth it, truly.

#9. The fact the mikes were still on Elizabeth and Wes through the ceremony, even when someone else was talking or singing. My favorite is Elizabeth telling Wes her gown is too long before they retreat to the back of the church, and of course at the beginning of the ceremony when Wes informs Elizabeth what the videographer had made the groomsmen do before the ceremony.

#8. What the videographer made the groomsmen do before the ceremony! WHAT was with the running? I did like the edit of the photo poses in the sepia tones with the western type music in the background. Especially when Wes and Bobby were smirking at the photographer. Mary was trying to read lips, but her expertise is listening at the bottom of the stairs, so she wasn't successful.

#7. The re-play of Brier and Taylor coming down the aisle with the flower petals, and then Taylor going back to pick up the ones Brier had dropped. Totally candid and unforgettable moment.

#6. Peggy's smile. It may have cost a bundle...but it was totally worth it in the end! Especially the moment she caught the bouquet!!

#5. Taylor dancing with Homer Simpson to the theme of "The Simpsons." Mostly because my father yelled "Where's Jun??!"

#4. The DJ, making a complete spectacle by throwing himself at Nants!! Thank God she got a better proposal in Croatia!! Even though she has shattered this chump for life, we're ALL better off!

#3. My mother realizing the DJ was wearing a John Kerry mask, and then later during the bouquet toss, a Hilary Clinton mask. Mary "Uber-Republican" T. was not at all exstatic about the Democrats crashing the reception!

#2. The dancing!! It never stopped. I remember when at the ceremony Nancy and I were talking and they announced the last song, we both looked at each other in utter disbelief! It was so fun to watch everyone "get their groove on" again! I have talented cousins, friends, and aunts! And watching Mary do the "Electric Slide" will never get old!!

#1. My favorite, the part I laughed the hardest at...while in the conga line, the DJ approaches Bobby and puts a Jamaican wig/hat on him. Without skipping a beat he takes it off and leaves the frame of the camera. Suddenly, we see the "wig" fly across the room as Bobby has just tossed it into the wind. Somehow it re-locates on Mom, and Dad has a matching one. The "hot hot hot" conga seems to go on forever, streaming with people I don't remember even seeing at the wedding. And yet, every shot of my brother is him not only with beer in hand (so proud), but pounding it to boot. We're so related.

It was such an awesome day! I'm glad the DVD is available, because I get to see people I don't get to see on a regular basis just having an awesome time. Plus, I get to see them candidly, when they have no idea the camera is on them! In 10 or 15 years, it might be the new generation of cousins favorite movie to watch, just like Nana and Papa's 40th.

I'm looking forward to many happy memories with my family, friends, and loved ones. I wish you all happy moments to cherish all of your lives. Thank you for making my sister's wedding one of the happiest memories a family could have, it was perfect!

I stole this "personality test" from my cousin, Julie...it's pretty swell. It did say I'm like Satan...which is weird and unsettling...but it also illustrated the point with a cartoon...so I think it will be okay:) I know I'm going to Heaven...this test was blinded by my hair and my wish to fight spiders:) I might have to take it again, after the Red Sox win a few back. Boo.

Have a nice day!

Peggy and Simba get a new pal...

Because I'm literally frightened that Elizabeth will actually be able to reach through the phone and choke me, I find it's high time to post some pictures of Peggy's new kitten...Nala. She was adopted this past Saturday and is 3 months old. She weighs about 2 pounds, and has the lung capacity of Celine Dion. Peggy's other cat, Simba, was named for the character in "The Lion King," so she decided he needed a friend...therefore, she adopted Nala.

Peggy's all smiles...is it the new kitten...or the Bud Light in the background??












Nala...chillin' in the window sill...








Simba and Nala getting acquainted.

News Alert: Slen's almost destroyed by fire!!

Breaking news...

on Monday August 15th around 1:30 am, local fire houses were called to "Pop's Shell Shack where a good Samaritan passerby noticed smoke. Ok, so it's not "breaking news," but it is to you so that's what matters here! "Pop's Shell Shack," currently under renovation, is directly beside the infamous York Beach Cinema, and hence, Slen's Dot Hog stand. News reports are confirming the blaze was ignited by a cigarette butt, allegedly thrown from an upper floor apartment window next door that landed on a mattress which was part of the debris from the gutting of the building. Early reports also indicate that this fire was neither malicious or premeditated. There's no reason to place blame here...At this point it is just good news that no one was hurt, and the former site of Slen's is safe. Any details that follow will be made available post haste.

He's here!!

Diego officially became part of the family on this past Thursday:) We've taken the weekend to get acquainted. It's been a lot of fun to start a car and not have it stall, and have all sorts of "warning" lights go on!! I filled it with gas this afternoon...I'm getting about 27 miles a gallon...no lie. It's very nice. I'm also excited to have more than two other people in the car who don't have to complain about leg room and getting in and out and such. I'm loving it:)

Where in the world is my little Diego??

Look for me to be driving this. No, Diego has not arrived yet. It's driving (no pun intended...really) me a little nuts. I see other people driving their CR-V's on the Maine's Goldstar Memorial Highway, and I get a little sad. I find tears struggling down my face, and I think, why? Why Honda, why hast thou forsaken me? I actually got a call last week on Thursday explaining that my car had arrived, however it had 500 miles on it. Yeah, I'll pass. If you pay brand new, you should get brand new. I'm not going to go to Applebee's and order a salad and allow them to bring me someone else's leftovers with all the croutons picked out...ergo, why would I want a used car? If the dealership had offered a deal of some sort, like free oil changes, or the XM stereo installation for free...perhaps I would have taken it off their hands...but they didn't offer a deal...so Howie Mandel can enjoy the rest of his summer. Now it's been 10 days since the initial purchase, and I'm still driving my cramped little focus. And the more I see other people enjoying the tremendous amount of space in their CR-V's (as compared to my rollerskate of a car), the more claustrophobic and jealous I get. I found a bruise, no lie, a bruise on my shin the other day. I couldn't figure out where the hell I got it. But I figured it out when I drove my car the other day, when I slip Ramon Dos into cruise control (an essential part of my commute), I rest my leg against the cup holder that straddles the gear shifter because I'm basically in the fetal position when I drive...and that's where I got the bruise. I'm actually being injured driving this thing now! I always felt bad when friends would sit in the passenger seat and because of the lack of space combined with the fact that they were of a taller stature...I would have to make like Fred Flintstone for them and open the moonroof so they could sit somewhat comfortably. I just need to be out of the matchbox, for once and for all. It's seen it's good times, but I can't remember any of them now because I'm so disillusioned by this whole experience. Wah. I know, like Justin Timberlake said "Cry Me a River."

So I shall keep you updated as to the arrival of Diego. I'm hoping for tomorrow...but I'm not holding my breath...because then I'd be dead...and who would provide you with the plethora of entertaining verbosity essential for an amazing day?

Pray. Peace.

I got CR-Ved...

So as you all may recall from my previous post I went to see "the Dave" this weekend. Bottom line, I’m not 21 anymore. The random things that happened at this show on "the lawn," repulsed me to no end. I was never so unimpressed and unamused by those in their late teens and early twenties in my life. And that is from a chick who used to work as a college RD! From the haze of weed smoke choking the stagnant air, to the masses of ill bred idiots that simply felt no shame in dropping trou and urinating wherever they stood…I’m positive that it will be a long, long time before I attend another concert "on the lawn." Everything else about the weekend was fine, I had an awesome road trip experience with Maggie and Rich. I highly recommend listening to Dane Cook and torturing bastard motorists with french fries. It was wonderful to see Kerry and Stevie and Liz as well. The laughter, as always, was pleasant and welcome…and incessant. So the weekend wasn’t a wash at all…it was just the actual filthy rotten miscreants that pretended to think they could appreciate Dave whilst peeing in public. No thanks!

I also got to see my Sweet Caroline and Allison for a little pool party at their house on the return home to Maine. And I got to wish Nancy well as she heads to Croatia…and brings me back a "Croat" as a souvenir!! Ha!

Now, to the BIG news…drumroll puhleeeeze…..
I get to drive one of these soon…

I can’t take the little car anymore…I spend too much time commuting to feel suffocated any longer. That and after I successfully made my last payment on "Ramon Dos," he continued to "Shite the bed" on me. I’ll miss my little focus…but it’s time for a new path. For personal reasons, I’m also doing away with the legacy of the vehicles named "Ramon." I believe my new car will get the moniker "Diego," but seeing as I haven’t driven it yet…I’m not 100%. You need a little story about where I got "Diego?" Sure…I’ll oblige. When traveling the open frontier of the Florida Highway System, we borrowed my father’s GPS system so as to ensure we would arrive at destinations such as the hotel, rehearsal dinner, and my sister’s wedding…on time and in one piece. I dubbed the GPS, "Dora" after the cartoon character "Dora The Explorer." She’s a kid who likes her some maps…so it seemed to fit. "Diego" is the cousin of Dora…so I’m thinking we might have to keep the new toys "in the family." So my new friend should be joining me by the end of the week. I got picky on the color and they didn’t have any on the lot. I thought I was going to go with "Silver Moss," which online and in the catalog looked like a soft, sage green. Howevah...in person...it looked like baby doodie. I can't drive that. I went with the sleek silver, which is practical as it will hardly ever look like it needs tub time. I’ll just have to suck it up for a few more days…hopefully Ramon Dos makes it in the impending heat. Oi.

I’d now like to take the opportunity to wish Captain Varitek a speedy recovery from his (fingers crossed not serious) injury from last night’s game. I just read that he's having surgery...everyone say a prayer. I missed Big Papi’s walk off homer by thismuch, but I knew something good happened when I heard my neighbor screaming expletives of joy from his back porch. So kudos to you, Papi…and thanks for saving the day…yet again!