Turkey day/weekend breakdown...

She looks so sad in this picture...5 minutes before she was all giddy...I swear!!

And it only took me 6 days!

This holiday was pretty low-key...severely different from last year...but in a good way. This picture of my cousin should say it all... Several tried to get me to partake in the vino...but I politely declined. I think the rain just kind of made everyone a lot less animated than usual. The fiesta de turkey at Nana's was a LOT more subdued, save the tireless comments about the "blessed cornbread." Apparently most of the guests had a jolly ol' time at the local brew house the night before, so there wasn't a huge appetite for the booze Thanksgiving day. It was actually kind of refreshing:) But as the mantra of any Sox fan goes..."there's always NEXT year!"

The second part of the day was at my Aunt Julie and Uncle Paul's house. Caroline is SO funny...seriously, the kid should do stand up...she doesn't talk a lot...but her expressions are priceless! I pretty darn positive she'd do a lot better than Kramer at the Laugh Factory...and no chance of racial epithets because, again, not really talking a lot...and way too sweet! When I first walked into the house, Allison started jumping up and down and gave me a "big hug!" Caroline kind of mosied over...and then put her arms up like "fine...I'll hug you too...whatever...I have things to do." Then she busted out in a huge smile...I love this kid!!



The rest of the evening consisted of the traditional turkey sandwich and pie buffet. Bobby received huge accolades for his "precise carving of the cheesecake." Apparently, he's a cheesecake cutting guru...who knew? I mean, I've been proud of him for a long time...how could I not be...but now he has a whole new fan club for this talent he's been hiding all his life. Imagine if it had been discovered earlier? He could be in a whole different line of work. Forget MLB and all that...he could be a Professional Master Cheesecake carver. Mad props Bobby boy! Ha:)

Finally, it had been decided that I would join my cousins Julie and Karen the following morning for a day of "Black Friday" shopping. I haven't done this in years-and truthfully...I didn't need anything this year...I just get a kick out of watching. That sounds wrong...very wrong. So after making a game plan and searching through the piles of "Black Friday" flyers...we made our way to their apartment to "go to bed early." That apparently translates to 12:30 am with a 4 am wake-up call. Needless to say...everything that occurred on "Black Friday" put me into a fit of laughter. The good kind...that uncontrollable, tears streaming down your face, can't hardly breathe, can't utter words in any sort of comprehensible manner kind of laughter. It was a great day!

We started out at Best Buy...hilarious. Julie was very concerned we wouldn't get in to purchase the Justin Timberlake cd for $5.99. The flyer claimed the stores had a limited amount, and SURELY everyone in line ahead of us was in it for Justin. He DID single handedly bring sexy back...so I can't argue the point. Bless him! Anyhoo...we were able to secure 2 copies. Later, upon examination, we realized that both copies had broken cases. We tried to "Justify" (ha) it...that we wouldn't even look at the cases...but it would haunt us later...so I got out of the line I'd been in for about an hour to search out some better ones. I was extremely lucky and found two unblemished copies just around the corner. PS-my case has been in my back seat since I opened the thing...haven't glanced at it once...but just knowing there are no broken pieces gives me peace. Moving on...I also got some DVD's for Peggy, and a few things for myself...but managed to spend less than 20 bucks. Totally worth it though. Julie and Karen got digital video cameras, and that's why we were in "the long line." We made friends with other members of the line...and raised our hands in fury when some Cambhodian woman and her family tried to cut...feigning that they didn't understand English...or the concept of "the line." Meanwhile, she'd tried to cut in earlier and was told by the angry mob where the line began...nice try sweetie. I like "Black Friday" for it's comical moments:)

We moved on to Target which wasn't offering anything spectacular...I just like Target. A lot! I managed to spend about 80 bucks in there. I bought things for Peggy...again...and for myself. I won't lie. They were good deals-and as Julie said "no one else is going to buy it for me!" It's true! So I treated myself to a nice new DVD player, and a NICE giant microfiber blanket...very soft...but I'm not pleased with the static electricity content. Seriously, the other night I was doing the flip it in the air motion to put it on the bed and it actually HURT to do it. It's worth the pain for the warmth factor though. I'll brave through it! Here's the kicker...I also found the movie "Elf," starring Will Ferrell for an astounding $5.98. How could I not buy it? Granted, I said I was going to anyway...but I'm pleased it was such a good deal:) That movie is really one of my favorites...it was on a few weeks ago and it just gets funnier every time. Laughing is good for you...so I feel that purchasing yet another thing for myself is just an investment in my health.

We walked to Friendly's and got some breakfast. I only bring this up because the waitress was named Maureen and was shaking so hard that she spilled Orange juice and coffee all over the table. And she had the "shakes" because she was old...not from drugs...though I don't know her personally, so I really can't make a sound judgment on the fact. It was comical though..wow..so mean! Mostly because when she put the check on the table, and it said "Maureen" I got weirded out and looked at my cousins and asked "How did she know?" So sad. Meanwhile, it was only about 7:30 am at this point.

We made our way to Kohl's (my new favorite store), and I managed to purchase gifts for people other than my selfish self! We also hit the mall - I needed to get to Sephora because, well, I have a habit. I'm addicted to a particular kind of make-up...which is all well and good...but I can only get it a) from the company 2) from QVC and d) from Sephora. So, living in Maine...there aren't a great deal of Sephora stores randomly located in the woods. I think they should put in a store in the "ville"...but maybe that's just me. Anyhow...I gave myself a limit in that store...and told my cousin Karen she could punch me in the neck if I exceeded it. Happily, I went neck punch free coming in at $9 under my self imposed limit! Crisis...and pain...averted. We walked around the mall a little...hit Bath and Body works for their sale...got accosted by a cell phone salesman...and tried on some fake hair at the fake hair kiosk. That was an experience, I really do wish I had pictures. First of all...I barely brushed my hair that morning...nevermind getting it do look in any way, shape, or form...half decent. Literally, I wet it...threw in a headband that kept moving...and hit the rest with a ponytail. The "lady" at the kiosk actually found a fake hair ponytail that resembled my color...and went to town. In a mere 5 minutes she had me looking like I was going to the ball to wrangle a Prince. Somehow sanity got the best of me and I decided NOT to purchase the "whig" for 70 bones. I told the lady I had to go to the ATM...well...it was a lie obviously, and she knew it too...the disappointment on her face was pretty sad. I was almost tempted to go back...but then I got distracted by the Disney Store and all was right with the world again. She's probably still waiting...alone in the dark mall...for that red head girl who said she'd be back. Miserable.

At some point we finally headed back to Julie and Karen's apartment. I had long since decided not to return to Maine...which was probably for the best because I was so overtired the giggles took over...and when I started, I just could NOT stop. We watched "America's Next Top Model," which truthfully I have never seen. Now, I will never miss it...it is voraciously funny and I can't believe I've never indulged! Even funnier is the fact that my 4 year old cousin Brier says it's her favorite show! Apparently she got mad when the person she liked didn't win and she cried and cried for hours! Poor thing! This season she says "you really can't like anybody." Too funny:)

So I will end now...I know you have to run off and read the latest about Matt Lauer's new kid, or the Rosie/Kelly/Clay Aiken war...so I won't keep you! Happy day:)

Peace!

Yeah, that's my little brother...

Blue Jays announce minor league postings
11/21/2006 11:10 AM ET
MLB.com

The Toronto Blue Jays announce the following postings in their minor league system for the upcoming 2007 season.

Doug Davis has been promoted to the position of Manager for the Syracuse (AAA) SkyChiefs of the International League. Al LeBoeuf has been hired as Hitting Coach for Syracuse. Ken Joyce has been promoted to the position of Hitting Coach for New Hampshire (AA) of the Eastern League. Gary Cathcart is promoted to the position of Manager for the Lansing Lugnuts (A) of the Midwest League. Mike Basso receives a promotion to the position of Coordinator, Instruction, while Dwayne Murphy assumes duties as Roving Hitting Instructor. Bob Tarpey is promoted to full-time Trainer with Lansing. Joanna Nelson has accepted the position of Coordinator, Minor League Administration, and Voon Chong has been promoted to Assistant Minor League Coordinator, while continuing as Trainer for the New Hampshire Fisher Cats (AA).

Davis, 44, spent last season as the Manager for New Hampshire (AA) in the Eastern League after a three year stint with the Marlins. The Bloomsberg, Pennsylvania resident was the Bench Coach for the Marlins in 2002, and the World Series Championship season of 2003.

LeBoeuf, spent last season with the Royals as hitting coach with Wichita (AA), after five seasons as a hitting coach in the Mets system. The Palm Harbor, Florida resident began coaching in 1989 season spending the next 11 seasons in the Phillies organization.

Joyce, 42, takes over as the Hitting Coach for New Hampshire (AA) after spending last season as Manager (A) at Lansing. The Portland Maine resident has been with the Blue Jays since the 2002 season, starting as a coach with Medicine Hat (Rookie League). He accepted a coaching position with New Haven (AA) of the Eastern League in 2003, before managing Charleston (A) of the South Atlantic League in 2004.

Cathcart 44, was a coach for the New Hampshire (AA) affiliate with the Blue Jays in 2006. The New Bedford, Massachusetts resident will manage the (A) Lansing Lugnuts, his 2nd managerial appointment in his career. He previously managed the Blue Jays Pulaski club (Rookie League) in 2004. Cathcart has been coaching since 1999.

Basso, 42, spent last season as the manager of the Syracuse SkyChiefs (AAA) of the International League. The Pearland, Texas resident has been coaching since 1995, and has been a part of the Blue Jay family since 2003, managing at all three levels, winning a second half title with Dunedin (A), and a division crown with New Hampshire (AA).

Murphy, 51, made his coaching debut in 1996 following a stellar 12-year playing career, primarily with Oakland. The Chandler, Arizona resident was a coach with (AAA) Syracuse in 2005, and will assume the role of Roving Hitting Instructor in 2007. Murphy was previously a hitting coach with the Arizona Diamondbacks from 2001-03.

Truth be told...

I've never been fond of Thanksgiving...ever. It's crazy...we're up at the crack of dawn and sitting in traffic for hours on end. I don't remember the last time I actually saw the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as it was actually happening. People start fighting for no good reason, simply because they have lost focus and their ability to reason because they are in agony from sitting in all that traffic whilst their bladders have all but exploded on the Tobin Bridge. But as I'm growing older, I'm realizing how fun the day can actually be...not the bladder exploding part though. That is never good. I enjoy the opportunity to see my family, especially my Nana who this year really has cause to celebrate after the year she has had. Of course, last year will always be the Thanksgiving that everyone in my family will remember...except for me!

I can make this promise, there will not be a repeat of last year's "performance." For those of you not in "the know," my Thanksgiving last year was amazing...or so I'm told!

It started off well enough, my parents and Peggy and I went to my Nana's in my dad's brand new Honda Pilot with leather interior...I think most of you know where I'm going with this...but keep that little tidbit in mind. So, we get to Nana's condo and my aunt and her family are already there. The running tally of people at this point is Nana (1), My family (4), my aunt's family (4) for a total of 9. Wow...I can add...but at this stage in the game that is still pretty good for me! My Nana's condo is about the size of a Ford Aspire...so we're already getting pretty interesting crowd wise.

This is a bird's eye view of the action, or chaos, that takes place. What you can't see is another whole corner of people that have to sit at a coffee table to eat. Actually just seeing this makes me wish it was already Thursday!

Then it happened...someone approached me with wine and asked me to partake...Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Apparently I decided to make my own little drinking game...one bottle drunk for every guest in the joint. This, sad to say, is no exaggeration. In the next hour or so, or crate of wine or so...more family started to arrive...including my "supplier for the day," cousin Scottie (drink)...as well as my brother Bobby(drink)...other cousins and boyfriends and spouses and friends and aunts and uncles joined in too (just keep drinking). My cousin Sean, who I hadn't seen since Jesus was a toddler, was home for the holidays from the war. It was shaping up to be a very nice reunion...but that wine was flowing...and that changed the course of, well, everything.

I had a lot of wine that day...a lot. It was unseasonably warm, or my Irish blood was reacting to the gallons of booze I "unknowingly" managed to consume. Either way, Scottie and I spent most of the day outside Nana's door. I realized or figured out at some point that Scottie hoarded all the wine in the bushes for me to imbibe. Brilliant! And the more people got pissed because we were seemingly out of wine...the funnier the whole game became. The only time we went in the condo was dinner, I sat at the head of the "kid's table" (yes, they still exist!) with Sean to my left and Scottie and Bobby to my right. Luckily, Scottie found a bottle of the Pinot Grigiot under the table (convenient)

This is "the wine," or at least ONE bottle of it. Please note the $4.99 price tag on the bottle. Yeah, I didn't see that until I saw this picture. I'm a class act...what can I say?

and kept me well hydrated throughout the meal. I didn't eat much...in fact Sean ate most of my dinner, I heard later anyway, because he didn't "want me to get in trouble." Adorable. There are pictures...amazingly enough. I will share later. So after dinner, we made our way back outside. Somehow a bench appeared and I had a seat for the rest of the time there. I can't really give you a time table...all I know is that for at least the last half hour at Nana's I remember people wondering where all the wine went...my uncle arriving...trying to call my sister, Elizabeth in Florida...and then being told it was time to leave. When you see the picture of me later, you might understand...I remember the last half hour or so audibly...it's the visual I have trouble with. My cousin Gretchen asked me to stay...I graciously declined. I wanted to see my Goddaughter...because as following tradition we were still to hit at least one more house Thanksgiving Day. Over the (Charles) River and Through the (Maine) woods is more than just a song...in my family...it's Thanksgiving day. I guess this is the point where my aunt told my mother to "get me in the car."

What I love is that through all this...my mother was oblivious to my drunken bliss. She had no idea about my little wine picnic outside...my only explanation is that the condo is one level and there would be no way she could "listen at the bottom of the stairs." At any rate, "my bliss" ended about a mile down the street. Thank goodness for automatic windows. Thank goodness I still had faculty enough to hit that button before I yakked out the window to the surprise and, I'm positive, NON-delight of other holiday travelers. I have memories of bouts of consciousness...my mother screaming for me to be careful with the window (legend has it that I kept closing it up to my neck when needing to get sick)...my mother calling our next destination to let them know "Maureen isn't really feeling well...I think we're just going to call it a night"...Peggy getting absolutely LIVID (because we couldn't go to my aunt's, even though she insisted they could leave me in the car)...the stop at CVS where my father bought paper towels and a coke to settle my heaving. I took one sip and it hit the floor of Dad's car almost instantly. Almost like it was destined to happen-he thankfully had put in the winter mats so damage was withheld...at least on the inside of the car. Let's just say when we arrived back in Maine, my dad dropped us off so he could bring the car to be washed. Gross.

I made my way upstairs, took one look in the mirror and just about keeled over laughing. Well, to be fair I was going to keel anyway...laughing or not. My hair was indescribably grotesque...something reminiscent of Medusa. I cleaned up, even managed a shower, and then fell into my bed. I slept for 2 hours, and woke up completely fine. No lie. My brother and cousins called later and I told them of my tumultuous journey home. They put me on speaker phone and responded in fits of laughter. I really can't blame them. Peggy is still mad to this day, and I'm sure, will keep an eye on my beverage consumption this Thursday. She doesn't need to worry...I have to drive so I'll be good. If you ever meet her, or see her...ask her about Thanksgiving 2005. She'll tell you the story-and it will probably be a lot more comical from her mouth. She tells everyone, "Merney just kept smiling at me!" Then she does "the" smile...it's priceless.

This is the only photographic evidence of "the smile," as Peggy calls it. Notice my eyes...yeah, I couldn't see. But my hair looked kick ass...of course...this is pre-ride home, getting sick out the window at 65-70 mph. Did I say I was a class act?

So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I wish you all joy, love, and laughter. Have a safe one. I also hope no drunken louse pukes all over your car on 95. And if they do...it won't be me...but f.y.i... there's an all night car wash in Kittery.

I'm about to blow your mind...

It's true! You won't even believe! I'm going to make a statement right now that will absolutely send shock waves into the blogging community...well, the "We're in a Fight"-ers blogging community anyway!

Ready? I don't think you are...but here goes. I am going to say that (this is so hard, are you sure you want to know?) Gilmore Girls has officially slipped out of my "favorite show" category this year. DO not misunderstand, I'm still watching it...I want to see if it can dig itself from the grave of absolute (excuse the language) complete and utter crap it has been swallowed whole by. I'm literally pained to watch it, and this past week's episode was no exception. And yes, I realize I hate the spoilers...but do not read on if you haven't watched but intend to. Of course, you can save yourself from wasting a precious hour of your life by reading on...but you are the only one that can make the choice to do so. First of all...could it be any more predictable that Lane and Zak are having twins? Come the frig on. Also, it was so sad to see Lorelai with Gigi...especially since it's just another nail in the coffin of the scuttlebutt between Lorelai and Luke considering he did not really allow a relationship between her and his daughter (who annoys the piss out of me.). It's really over...of course the ending scene tied that up in a pretty little bow with the realization that Lorelai and Christopher got married in Paris. Paris in France, not Paris the character. That would be both confusing and gross...and I think just plain silly. So yes, I'm really getting sick of this show. I never thought I would say it...or type it. It just seems to be ruined...and I'm not a fan of things that are ruined.

All that being said (because if I go on I may get angry and that's not what I'm in the mood for right now), my new favorite show is officially (drumroll from Drumline...please) The Office. I want to be best friends with Pam. I want to work with someone like Dwight. I want to marry Jim. I want to booze with Meredith. I love this show...even if it kind of broke my heart last night. I'm a "Team Pam," all the way. I know!! She totally screwed up with Jim last season...and I shouldn't have been mad at him last night...but it just seems so wrong. I hate the new girl and I want her to leave. It's supposed to be a comedy! It is hilarious though...truly. I think Angela is actually the funniest person on the show...her one liners kill me. So, it is decided, The Office is my new favorite and Gilmore Girls has a LOT of work to do to a)make it up to me and b) gain any sort of ground to even TRY to get close to The Office in my own personal rankings.

I should be a frigging Neilson family. Any one know how I can be?

In other TV obsessed observations:

*No idea how I'm going to get through Wednesday nights without LOST for 3 months. That is total and complete bullshoot. Just another reason why ABC is on "The List." Was "The 9" on this week? See what happens when LOST is lost?!?! I lose my whole schedule! Darn you ABC!! Darn YOU!!

*7th Heaven is absolute swill...but hilarious to watch because the actors are so bad. If you're looking for a comedy that is "allegedly" a serious, family drama...look no further...jackpot!

*JC Chasez (of *NSync and the Drumline Soundtrack fame) is on Ghost Whisperer tonight on CBS at 8pm. I'll be taping it...it's always nice to see one of the boys.

*30 Rock is a pretty decent show. It would be even funnier if they did more with Tracy Morgan and a LOT less of the girl from Ally McBeal. The guy who plays the NBC page is hilarious...and may be a little related to Clay Aiken. Alec Baldwin is a genius...his host of SNL last weekend was probably the best one I've seen in years.

*ER just sucks now. Don't bother. Even with Uncle Jesse on the show...I just think it can't be saved.

*Scrubs is coming back...WATCH IT. It is one of the better comedies around, and considering the sitcom is a dying breed we should do all we can to protect this endangered species. Even better is it's now on the same night as The Office...so there are plenty of reasons to laugh on Thursday nights...of course you could still be in chuckle mode from the previous Sunday from watching 7th Heaven...and if you are we should be friends because we are generally happy people who love to laugh, and especially love to laugh at the expense of others. "If you can't say something nice, come sit by me."

I'm done for the day...I won't make any blogging promises I can't keep...so until next time...we're in a fight.