Ridin' along in my automobile...

I think we can all reasonably agree that Britney Spears is not a "well" person...one might say "she's out of her gourd." Her first slight against humanity was shaming the uber-relationship she had with Justin Timberlake. She cheated on him, and she hurt him. For that she will never be forgiven. The break-up obviously took a toll on her sanity because she began "acting out" and within days of the split became the poster diva for the Whiskey Tango Coalition (translation-she's white trash). What happened? No one really knows, but the more outlandish she became, her career spiraled into non-existence (save the Tabloid articles). She married the guy from Seinfeld (not really, but they shared the name), in a wild Vegas adventure. That ended quickly and not very quietly. Suddenly she'd linked to Kevin Federline whose only claim to fame at that point was being the father of two kids mothered by some chick who used to be on Moesha. Nice choice. Timberlake to that? Non-sensical. Of course the courtship followed the "crazy path" to a tee as Federline's second child had not even been "borned" yet. What a proud papa he must be. Soon the wedding happened with the bridesmaids wearing sweatsuits that said "Juicy" on their bottoms. Classy...good thing you're "settling down, Brit." Then "surprise!!" BS is preggo and the world stops for her and this miracle of life. I honestly have felt bad for this kid since the news of his conception hit Star Magazine.

So fast forward to yesterday, when Mama Spears is taking a leisurely ride to a local coffee joint avec her precious son and her bodyguard. The bodyguard gets OUT of the vehicle to fetch the freshly brewed libations, the paparazzi swarm, chaos ensues, and Mother of the Year Spears with her son in her LAP drives off into the sunset. Of course she is photographed with the child in her lap and the press has been having more of a field day than when Michael Jackson waved baby "Blanket" out the window of his hotel.

I really could care less what Britney does on a day to day basis. Honestly. But when she makes a stupid decision at the expense of her child, any child for that matter, that bothers me to no end. I don't know her, and I wasn't there. But something tells me that if you can take the time to wait for your cup o' joe to come back to the car via BODYGUARD...you can take the time to put the child back in the carseat. It's not Rocket Science, Bob! Why are you out getting coffee and using your paid source of "protection" as a coffee valet in the first place? Was the caffeine fix that important that you couldn't abort the mission? You have tons of money...and sadly some of it rightly should be returned to me (you can keep the concert money though because that was the night I met THE Keith "L"...so thanks for that!). Can't you afford a coffee maker? For the love of *NSync, you could probably afford to have your very own Starbucks counter in your home, or by your pool...hey you're writing the check...do with it what you want...put it in the nursery if you care to. While I applaud you for taking on the immeasurable career of motherhood, I have to say that this incident leads me to believe that if you were a contestant on Trump's Apprentice: Big Mama's House...you'd be one of the first to hear "You're fired!!"

In conclusion, I don't hate celebrity moms...in fact I guarantee this would never happen with Jennifer Garner Affleck or Gwyneth Paltrow. Mostly because they seem like not only decent people, but people serious about being moms. I just think it's time for Britney to grow up and take responsibility for the precious gift that's been given to her. I may have had a different opinion if she hadn't cried paparazzi assault, but in recent times I think too many celebrities (Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, the Olsen Twins) are making poor decisions and rather than dealing with the mistakes and taking responsibility (drunk driving, poor choice in sex tape editors and keeping track of cell phones and diaries, faking an eating disorder to cover cocaine addiction) they look for the easiest, loathesome, intrusive target to blame. Brit, next time...just blame Kevin...it's easier and everyone would not only understand but probably laud you as a hero mother goddess. Good luck with that.