Post Office Catastrophe...

Almost! You know when you just have to tell the tale...the story that you just can't make up? Here comes one...

Yesterday I got to the post office EARLY...it was like I was trying to score tickets to see the Red Sox or something. At any rate, I secured my spot first thing...about 20 minutes before the place opened. All I needed was a few books of stamps for my Christmas cards, which is why I refused the past few days to wait in the insane lines that had formed. I planned out what I decided would be my last visit to the post office very carefully. I did not prepare for the encounter I made when I walked through the smudgy glass door though. Again, I can't make this up.

So as I enter the lobby of the post office, there is a petite woman standing near one of the stamp vending machines. So I meet her eye, and politely say "Good Morning." She says "I have to go to the bathroom so bad!" WHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAT? She proceeds to say...I don't think I'm gonna make it!" Then she starts groaning. This is not good! Not good. I'm just staring at her blankly...I have no idea how to proceed...and I have no idea if I'm laughing out loud or just in my head. I did feel bad for her-but her bluntness was the comedy here! She asked me to bring her envelopes to the "out of town" box. I grabbed them for fear that she'd flood the joint any second. She thanked me and said (I can't even believe this still): "Oooooh! I'm going to have to hold my crotch all the way to the car!" Now, I'm thinking..."hey, I did you the favor of bringing your envelopes to the mail slot...and THAT is where I draw the line!" So, she puts her hand "there" and with her legs crossed, gallops to her car. I called "Good luck, and Merry Christmas!" To which she exclaimed, as she bolted out of sight: "It will be if I don't piss myself!!"

A lovely Holiday story:)