A Very Brady Christmas

Oh my God. Please see this movie for Mike's hair alone...and Greg's throw back to 1974 porn moustache...I promise you it's worth it.

A Very Brady Christmas finds our favorite television family years after the show has ended, after Marcia and Jan's double wedding to gross Wally and stuck up Phillip respectively. And please, these marriages are as believable as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' relationship. Ugh. Be reasonable, like the Marcia we know would ever marry beneath her with someone like Wally...and I thought Jan was supposed to be an old maid like Aunt Jennie!! I digress, so the family reunites for Christmas...everyone but the real Cindy who was replaced with some chick that didn't even look like her. Peter was working for some woman that he was also dating (naughty!!), Greg had his kids at the house so they could raise hell with Marcia and Wally's offspring...meanwhile Wally had lost his wonder how that could happen. What a hump. Bobby had some drama...I think he was doing blow and got kicked out of school or some nonsense...NOO...he dropped out because he wanted to race cars (and subsequently was paralyzed and married MTV Veejay Martha Quinn)...same difference.

The best part of the whole movie was the end when they all sat for dinner and Mike got a call from a work site that there had been structural issues and part of the building collapsed!

Oh, MIKE!!

So he goes, and the family finds out that he's stuck inside the building...suddenly Carol's singing carols to "will" him out of the building. Finally, Mike emerges triumphantly (with his special hard hat to protect his permed wig) from the rubble. Of course it's a Miracle on 34th St. because that's a ridiculous script twist. I still feel bad for the girl who had the part of the reporter and had to utter it...nonsense. So the Brady's have a Very Brady Christmas (and spawn another show that in no way could compete with the original), and Alice sits at the table with her little crutch near her chair and says..."God Bless us, everyone." Haaaa...just really did end (sadly) with the reporter and the stupid comment...but my way is better!!


At 9:41 PM, Blogger JoviFan said...

Your ending is decidedly better! Alice as the "Tiny Tim" of the Brady Family. The only contradiction there is that nothing about Alice could ever be described as "tiny." (IQ not withstanding)
Is Bobbie Brady paralyzed? Jesus, talk about a plot twist.

At 3:23 PM, Blogger lms129 said...

I am glad that you dedicated a posting to this foolishness. You forgot to mention where Sam was. I actually can't recall, maybe he was off selling some rotten mutton to the folks in Wlanut Grove. I think the reason Mike got out of the rubble when Carol sang was out of total fear of further structural damage brought on by that shrill.
The girl who filled in for Cindy, I believe she used to play Gwen on Charles in Charge. Christ, thats taking it back to the old school.

At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sam is the reason Alice returned to the Brady house! She came in crying that Sam had left her for a younger piece of meat (pardon the sorry ass pun). Poor Alice. I mean, first her poor Aunt in Seattle, now this. IS there no justice?


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