"I can't put my arms DOWN!"

"Randy lay there like a slug, it was his only defense."

I defy you to find a Christmas movie that is in any way superior (besides National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) to A Christmas Story. I remember being at my friend Jenny's house for her sleepover birthday party when I went to Lady Isle (a now defunct Catholic School) and snickering at what I considered "adult humor" in this movie. I didn't even tell my parents I saw it, until the next year at Thanksgiving when my cousins showed it at their house, for fear of getting "busted."

Now it's a staple in our house. In fact, last year when we were in Florida, as soon as we got to the condo we were staying in, my brother and I immediately found it during it's 24 hour marathon run on TNT. This movie NEVER gets old. I watched it again tonight just because it was on. Last night on the way home from dinner we were quoting it...it really just never gets old. I literally can sit for hours on end listening to Ralphie beg everyone he knows for the precious Red Rider BB gun, and get told time and time again "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!" Who doesn't love seeing him have to suit up in that bunny costume that Aunt Clara makes him, or rather hear Randy just laugh at him vicously when he appears at the foot of the stairs in it? We all cheer for Ralphie when he kicks the crap out of Scut Farkus, and love our mothers a little bit more when she covers for him with "the Old Man." Obviously one of the most memorable moments is Ralphie's utterance of the "queen mother of dirty words." Oh FUUUHH-DGE. Yeah, okay.

From the degenerate Santa Claus, to the goggled child that "likes the Wizard of Oz," to the "chinese turkey" that smiles at the old man...this is one of the greatest family Christmas stories ever told. It's format inspired the television show The Wonder Years, and according to E! True Hollywood Stories the kid that played Flick is doing farely well in his chosen career now. Ralphie even appeared on Punky Brewster once as a shoplifter in the mall (sadly I remember that!)...so thankfully everyone seems to be doing well even now.

I'm sure you won't forget to watch this season, but if you have missed it somehow in the last few years, take a few hours and watch it again. Remember the first time you saw it, and the eleventy-thousandth time you saw it. If you don't laugh at least once, or at least 47 times...then you have issues and you need some serious comedic therapy.