Festivus...for the rest of us...

Once upon a time on Seinfeld, many years ago there was a man named Frank Costanza. He was not, what you would say, mild mannered. He was pretty much an oaf. One Christmas he was trying to buy a doll for his son George and when it was discovered it was the "last one," he fought ferociously with a greedy opponent. In the melee, the doll was destroyed. Frank thought there was only one decent thing to do...create a new holiday...Festivus for the rest of us!

Celebrated every December 23rd, it's a family tradition for the Costanzas. There are some traditions, but unlike Christmas there is no particular meal to eat (but the Costanzas like spaghetti). There is also no tree...just an aluminum pole (Costanza was anti-tinsel...very distracting. No tinsel, no problem!). At the feast of Festivus, it is tradition to reveal the Airing of Grievances against other family members. Finally, there is the Feats of Strength, where the head of the family challenges another Festivus celebrant to a match of athletic skill and fortitude. Here is a link to tips and official rules of Festivus for the Rest of us so you may properly enjoy the traditions.

Though not technically a "Christmas" special, it was recently revealed to me that my cousin Lauren's grievance against me was that I hadn't highlighted Festivus on "the blog." I also hear she's upset because Cuddles told me that my outfit today was "so Ra sha sha." (Yeah, don't ask.)

Happy and all...


At 9:07 PM, Blogger lms129 said...

Thanks for the posting, Mo!
I love Festivus. I think everyone celebrates a little Festivus every year, especially with the airing of the grievences. I agree with Frank Costanza, Tinsel is too distracting!
Happy Festivus, Mon-Petite!

At 7:46 AM, Blogger Drew said...

Tinsel is a pain in the neck to clean up, and if your cat eats it cleaning the litter box can be a distracting event. What with the crazy, shiny, glitter and litter covered, crap and all.

At 10:45 AM, Blogger Mo said...

I'm pretty sure the "airing of the grievances" is something my family does every day!!

I've always hated's white trashy...and I too have a cat and have less than enjoyed seeing glittery feces!!

At 5:13 PM, Blogger JoviFan said...

Shiney shit, hey? Remind me to avoid getting a cat...and tinsel in the future. I think if you walked into my house right now, you could think it was the middle of July. Not only for the blazing heat (I love my landlady for being a feeble little woman who needs to keep the thermostat steadily above 96 degrees in order to feel comfortable. I also don't have to pay heat. If these landlords think they're getting rid of me any time soon, I'm going to be pulling some Michael Keaton "Pacific Heights" crap in here. That's all I have to say on that matter), but I also don't even have one single Christmas decoration in this dump. Not because I don't like the decorations or the holiday season, but simply because I can't be bothered.
I don't think most families need a formal, annual tradition to air the grievances. I think this is pretty much a daily occurance in most clans! Why is is that you caved to Lauren's demand to feature Festivus, but I have seen no mention of my previously requested "Trading Places?"


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