My Dark Day

Tonight marks the end of a friendship. I’ve been forced into this break up, and like any scorned woman, I’m not dealing with it well. To quote Michel, "I feel like crap on toast." I’ve tried to make sense of how...after seven years I will just be abandoned. Left alone, bewildered, and sad, I will have to triumph on…but I do not have to find joy in it. In fact I can promise I will find no joy. Not for awhile. I’ll just have to find another television show that will bring me as much happiness as my beloved “Gilmore Girls.” It won’t be easy.

In the summer of 2002, I moved to a new apartment. Sunday nights, after the Red Sox games...I was bored. "Pick up a book" you say...come on. I'm entertained more by the visual and audible. I likes me some tv. I had heard of the show, Gilmore Girls, but hadn’t been all that interested as most of my television watching life at that time had been consumed by Alias, Ed, and Survivor (when it was actually worth watching). Sunday evenings were the worst to find something to watch. It was after Alias was shuffled around like a deck of cards, and before Desperate Housewives and Lost took the spot (and presumably the audience) Alias once mastered. And it was the summer, again, way back before the fx network had summer seasons…and then other networks joined in with reality shows and repeats of the previous weeks or seasons shows. Thus began the concept of 'summer season programming.' So my friend Maggie, the infamous Maggie, told me about “Gilmore Girls” and how she and her sister’s had a standing appointment to watch it every Tuesday night. It was funny, and I would “love it.” So either Maggie knows me very well, or she worked for the WB, or she’s a prophet…because she started something that I don’t think anyone saw coming! Coincidentally, the now defunct WB started to air repeat episodes of the program on Sunday nights at 7, dubbing it “Gilmore Girls: Beginnings.” I watched one episode and I was hooked. It was one of the earlier episodes, when the two sets of twins were getting married at the Independence Inn and Lorelai was running the show. I remember she wore the most hideous dress to the wedding, and fought with Rory about ‘stretching out’ her sweaters. They talked so fast…I could barely keep up. And seriously, this is a mother and daughter? Fighting about who’s boobs were bigger?? What am I watching? But it was kind of funny…and the guy who worked at the inn with the French accent that I would later learn to be ‘Michel,’ was pretty funny fighting with the harpist and then later revealing his fear of swans. So I stuck in, and I watched again the following week…and suddenly I couldn’t wait for the new season to start.

I immediately fell in love with the town of Stars Hollow. Seriously, why aren’t there more small towns like this? Rather, why aren’t there any small towns like Stars Hollow? I think that if we did live in smaller, quaint communities, life just might be more fun. I want to live in a town with a Miss Patty and a Babette. I even think it would be amusing to have a town Kirk. A place where you can just walk everywhere and people think it’s silly to have a traffic light. A place where town meetings are held in Miss Patty’s Dance Studio/Barn and the vital town business consists of who will be what painting in the “Festival of Living Art.” I realized at some point, that I wasn’t just a fan of the actual girls of Gilmore, but of all the town of Stars Hollow. I just can’t imagine that they won’t be around after tonight!

No more Richard and Emily Gilmore either! I would venture to say that this couple is one of the most interesting, most compelling, funniest couples in television history…yup, I’d rank them right up there with Archie and Edith Bunker. Emily, as controlling and mean as she can be, I just have a soft spot for her. I think she means well-it’s just for all her socialite training, she never really learned how to communicate with her daughter. She cares for Lorelai, but her expression of that care is too clouded by appearances. Richard is just a sweet old man, unless you piss him off…then he’s just a powerhouse you do not want to mess with. These two characters played so well off of each other and the rest of the cast…I will be sad to see them gone. No more Friday night dinners, no more elaborate parties, no more insurance talk over golf. No more Richard and Emily. Just writing this I have a physical, unintentional frown on my face.

I guess, I’ll even miss Rory…though I’ve grown to loathe her in the past few years. Last week’s episode, when she denied Logan’s proposal and broke off the relationship was the first glimpse of the real Rory I’ve seen since she started at Yale. She was a smart kid, one you really wanted to see succeed. Remember when she was at Chilton and she would sit alone with her walkman, reading while eating her lunch. She wasn’t all that phased by what others thought of her. She wanted people to like her..but she wouldn't be bullied by Francie or Paris. She stuck up for herself more when she was younger. When Paris gave her a ridiculous newspaper assignment, she followed through, just to prove to Paris that she was not going anywhere. Even when she went through the relationship crises of Dean and Jess…I was pulling for her to come out happy. I think I started to hate her when she went to Yale. Moreover, when Logan came into the picture. She lost her identity, and her brave nature. She started to lose sight of her initial goals and then lost it completely when Logan’s father decimated her career aspirations. She started the big fight with Lorelai and moved in to the pool house of Richard and Emily. She finally started to get back on track-a freaking year later! She made amends with her mother, went back to Yale, became the Editor in-chief of the Yale Daily News, and still managed to graduate on time. Come on people, it’s a fictional show…improbable story line’s make it all the better. I think I would have liked her better if she’d returned to the Rory depicted in last week’s episode a lot earlier. I know, it’s in the past, and it all ends in mere minutes…I have to move on.

I really cannot believe that for the past two seasons I've had to endure Christopher's presence, I'm a Luke & Lorelai fanatic...and Christopher fits nowhere in that equation. I've tried to avoid spoilers for tonight's series finale (sigh)...so my hope is that the relationship between Luke and Lorelai will finally be resolved in a positive way. I think Lauren Graham is such a good actress. Honestly, one of her brightest moments was the karaoke scene only episodes ago. If you didn't get misty-well, then...you probably don't have a soul. I will miss Lorelai's banter with Sookie, the two friends that can finish each other's sentences, no matter how insane the conversation topic is.

Sookie: What's going on?
Lorelai: Michel's gonna live forever.
Sookie: Like the kids from 'Fame'?
Lorelai: That's what I said.

I think her character was not only an inspiration for young, single, mothers...but for young women that yearn for success. Lorelai worked hard to be everything to her daughter, and her loved ones. I just read that part over, and I know you think this is going a little overboard-maybe it is...but it's a sad day for me and I have to vent somehow. I love that she was a friend to her kid, but still her kid's mom. She took care of her kid, alone. In this day and age, that's not always how things go. Yes, I remember this is a fictional "dramedy." I do have my finger on the button of reality-but sometimes, it's a good thing to move away from the button.

Lorelai: I think I have gangrene. Rory: You do not.
Lorelai: And vertigo. Rory: Oh boy.
Lorelai: And one leg suddenly feels shorter than the other.
Rory: This is gonna be the Vanity Fair paper cut incident all over again, isn't it?

I guess I just have to say goodbye and leave it at that. A wise lady once told a good friend of mine "Let go and let God." I have no idea what that means, but I know that I do have to let go tonight at 8:59 pm (EST)...and I really don't want to. So, as cheesy as this admittedly is...instead of saying goodbye I just want to say "thanks." It's been a fun ride through Stars Hollow over the past few years. I've laughed out loud countless times, shed innumerable tears (I still choke up at Rory's graduation speech from Chilton!), and just sat in awe of some of the best character's and intelligent writing on television. It was nice to sit and watch something that didn't include cursing or bloodshed. It was pleasant to see such a modern, yet familiar family dynamic in the Gilmore's. It was sweet to see Luke's unrequited admiration of Lorelai for all those years, to finally be rewarded with a proposal. It was heartbreaking to see that relationship dissolve so maliciously. It was endearing to watch the pieces of the relationship slowly glued back together. There are so many things I've loved about this show, I'm still in shock that tonight marks the end. Who knows, maybe something better will come along-but I doubt it. It's a sad night, but it's been a fun adventure. A break from the norm of every day life, to be a witness to someone else's every day life. I've been comforted by this show, so I repeat myself, and simply say "thanks."

If you're out on the road feeling lonely, and so cold,
All you have to do is call my name and I'll be there on the next train.
Where you lead, I will follow anywhere that you tell me to.
If you need, you need me to be with you I will follow where you lead.