Things that make me go Hmmmm...
*Why will I continue to pay $1.19 (deposit included) for a 20 oz soda (sometimes more than once daily), yet balk at paying $1.49 for soda when I'm in a grocery store?
*Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what exactly IS on the other side?
*Why does Disney keep their good movies in a vault so when they are released people will purchase them and sell them for 5 times as much on Ebay? Is it really helping Disney make more money (like it needs to!)
*Why aren't there any good themesongs on TV anymore? Every show that does have a decent themesong is usually a song you can hear on the radio. What happened to originality?
*What exactly is football all about?
*Why do I have to work?
*Why do we even have money...can't we barter like on Little House?
*Why did Nomar marry Mia Spamm?
*Whatever happened to the Cadbury Wispa bar? And real Bonkers candy?
*Why did Jennifer Garner change her name to Jennifer Affleck? Will Demi Moore become Demi "Kutcher?"
*What happened to the cast of Parker Lewis Can't Lose?
*Why do they continue to make Spam?
*When do we start living in the sky like the Jetsons? Can I get a robot maid now?
*Who let reality TV take over?
*Why is Fox cancelling Arrested Development, but allowing Pamela Anderson to continue with Stacked?
*When are they making a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite?
*How do the fish get in lakes?
*Why do fax machines still exist?
*Will the Red Sox ever give me reason to smile again?
*Why do they call it "the birds and the bees?" That just seems wrong.
*Why can't I fall asleep when I want to...but can't get out of bed in the morning?
*Why hasn't Katie Couric left the Today Show yet?
*Why does my frigging neck still hurt??
*Did you ever notice that 9 times out of 10, when Ben Affleck attends a Red Sox game - the Red Sox lose?
*Why am I still so interested in what goes on in the lives of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon?
*Why doesn't America have mandatory naptime in the middle of the work day?
*Why do people feel slighted if you don't give them a Hallmark card?
*Who gave Tyra Banks not one , but TWO awful shows on TV?
*Who decided to send my parents 40 tons of cookies for Christmas?
*Why does it seem like every school's colors are blue and white?
*Why are their still brown m&m's?
*What ever happened to C&C music factory?
...Things that make ME go hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
posted by Mo @ 12/29/2005
12 comments
12 Comments:
Getting a non hallmark card has never made me feel slighted. I think that is your hangup. I am happy with the someone taking the time to give me a card at all. Why wouldn't their be fax machines? I don't understand that question, they are needed. What can replace a fax machine? Just curious.
I have a question, why is everyone in the worlds blog on your website, but mine?
Here are a few questions I am left to ponder...
*Why the hell does MY neck still hurt?
*Why does it take my doctor 4 hours to call me back when I call him about said neck pain?
*Why do people feel compelled to make fun of me for drinking iced coffee in the winter?
*Why do they then get annoyed when I make fun of them for drinking hot coffee in the summer?
*Why do we all seem to want peoples' behaviors to measure up to our own personal standards and expectations?
*Why did the bus driver make a really mean comment to a woman today on the bus and force me to get off the bus in protest and solidarity with the dissed woman, thus forcing me to walk in a downpour with my broken neck?
*Why do Doritoes keep changing their bag design and giving their chips more dangerous-sounding names? (Fireball Nacho and Lethal Ranch and crap like that?)
*Why is Jon Bon Jovi so freakin' good looking?
*Why is Jon Bon Jovi married to his high school sweetheart and not me?
*How long is a Twinkie's Shelf life? For real?
*Why is is that when I try to hit the post-Christmas sale at the mall yesterday, everything in the stores was size XS? The mere fact that there are hundreds of garments in this size left over should suggest to retailers that NOBODY WEARS THIS SIZE.
*Chronicles of Narnia...WHY?
*Kong....WHY?
*Lord of the Rings...WHY?
*Why is there a rain event reminiscent of the 40 days and nights that gave rise to Noah's Ark?
*Why am I here in New England as opposed to somewhere, anywhere, warm?
*Why don't I have a million dollars?
Why is it when ever I am on an airplane I get seated next to someone that feels they paid for my seat too, and decides to sit on me. Like the guy that looked and SMELLED like Crocidile Dundee? Maureen and Bobby you must remeber this freak show I got stuck next.
Why does everyone feel compelled to talk to me. Why do they feel the need to tell me their life storis and lean on my shoulder in the line at the Walmart. Why must the lady behind me pick through the items i'm purchasing and reminise over her 7 cats that she had to give up because of liver failure that she guarantees to me was not due to alchohol, cus she quit drinking 4 years ago, it had to be the meds.
Why do people that have awful teeth always smile with their mouth open?
Why do people who have horrible voices seem to be the ones who run the conversation?
Why are there sixteen boxes full to the brim of anime sitting in my side yard?
Why do some people have body odor and they don't know it?
Why do people with halitosis invade your space when they are speaking with you?
Why is my wig made of straw and not human hair? why? why? why?
I can help you with some of the answers:
1. There are no more original theme songs on TV anymore because after X-Files and its theme, people realized they could do no better and stopped trying.
2. Normar married Mia because he is a big loser and wanted to feel better about himself
3. Jennifer Garner changed her name in a personal vendetta against me, to make it even harder for people to accept the fact that I am not changing my name after marriage.
4. Fax machines still exist because my office has not yet invested in scanners
5. Katie Couric is still on Today so my father can continue his obsessive need to watch Today every day for the sole purpose of seeing her.
For what it's worth - my school's colors were Maroon and Orange - yeah. Blue and white don't seem so bad now, do they?
Mo, I wanted to leave a comment but it got away from me and became a full fledged post on my blog. The Benspark.
I tried to comment on Drew's site but can't for some reason. But why is the light brown M&M gone, it was the best one. I loved that one! Why must they limit the colors, why can't they leave all the colors in the bag. Who cares if there is a Joseph and the Amazing Techno Color Dream Colored bag of M&M's chancing that you might not get a color in that bag, I 'd buy it! BRING BACK TAN!
This was a great entry, Mo! It got us all thinkin! Here's another question....Why is my neck STILL broken?????
I just watched Little Dump (the one where Laura takes the teacher exam to impress Manly)and I want to know one thing, why is that Laura continues to wear her hair in braids on the side of her head like a goon, and her little sister who is 5 even wears her hair down down? WHY?
I was just about to ask the same thing. This was an awesome blog, but helloooo, we NEED more. We live for your rants Mernie!
Why are we obsessed with Little House? Why? Who are we and why are we here still obsessing over Chuck, Caroline, Half Pint and Mary? Why?
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