"Christmas With The Kranks"

Sorry, no quotes for this one...but in my defense I've only seen this movie once and it was a year ago. I know I laughed at least once, but I think it might have been because of something Bobby said when it was finished. At any rate, a few years ago John Grisham wrote a book called "Skipping Christmas." It's about a family who celebrates the crap out of Christmas every year and the father finally decides to cancel Christmas one year as the only child will be gone and why not take all the money they usually spend and go on vacation. Of course it's easier said than done as the neighbors are in complete disbelief and start terrorizing the couple to participate in traditional activities. Low and behold the daughter decides to come home and now the couple must rely on the kindness of the neighbors they have been avoiding to make a nice, traditional, family Christmas for her. Aww...so nice. For the movie version the title was changed to "Christmas with the Kranks," and starred Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis.

I'm pretty sure that John Grisham's idea came from some secret surveillance of my dad over the years. It's a known fact that preparing for the "holiday" season drives him nuts...but he deserves a lot of credit because he always goes through with it. Last year we went to Florida to visit my sister and some more family, and he still had to endure the holiday insanity. He's just finished his yearly installation of the Christmas lights for the day...I will post pictures when they are finished. He just lucked out and happened to marry a woman who LOVES Christmas and has filled the basement with Christmas items. Our house is big, but it's not like we're a frigging department store!! She even has those little knee high moving people that freak me out. One year when she got an angel my Uncle Bobby and his family were visiting. He took the candle out and replaced it with a little knife and a beer...totally pissed Mom off...but we'll never forget it!!

At any rate, when this movie came out we were all forced to go-except Dad who wanted NOTHING to do with it. I'm pretty sure he just knows that my mother would be getting ideas from it. Back to the movie though...the highlight is pretty much the fact that Dan Akroyd is in it. I might have been happier if he had played the lead as I'm not a big Tim Allen fan (and don't send me hate mail because you'll just have to deal with it...I have no apologies...I don't hate him...I just hate his celebrity). I do like Jamie Lee Curtis, though not in this film. She wears a ridiculous wig which I think is just an a metaphor for her career as of late. I was going to write about a reunion for Trading Places, but have just decided that's a good idea for a Christmas movie post...very soon. God, I loved that movie! Probably one of the best comedies of all time. I digress, so most of "Christmas with the Kranks" is cheesy pratfalls taken by Allen and Curtis, some random obsession with ham that was probably better fed to Napoleon Dynamite's llama Tina, and unspecial sightgags involving botox and teeth whitening.

I just read this over and I'm wondering why I've written about it at all?! Well, if I can deter you from seeing it and wasting your time, then I guess I did my job.

NOTE: Please do not confuse this movie with "Surviving Christmas." I'm not putting a link to it because it should be ashamed of itself and I therefore, will not publicize it. It was such a ploy to get Ben Affleck in a movie with James Gandolfini. Affleck should not appear in holiday films, but obviously he's learned NOTHING from Reindeer Games.