An Ode to Mary...

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I thought I should pay tribute to my mom with some things she is famous for (albeit in my family), the things that make her unique ...but some of you may find some in common with your own...yeah probably not...


My mother is lauded as the eminent expert on all things having to do with Fels Naptha (yes that's how you spell it). It is not only a laundry soap, but I bet you didn't know that some people use it to extricate red food coloring off of an idiot child's skin because they were "making a haunted house" and "didn't have any fake blood."

My mother is also quite reknowned in the Western World for her amazing, almost supernatural listening skills. No matter what we did, no matter where we were, we always knew if we did wrong we'd eventually get busted because she was "listening at the bottom of the stairs."






"My precious." The gentleman pictured to the left is my brother, Bob. He is the light of my mother's life. Seriously. We have taken to calling her "Holy Mary, Mother of Bob." I'm sure she is reading this right now and trying to disagree and say that "all her children are equally loved, but "the girls" know the truth;) I am in no way joking when I say that he is the equivalent of the ring in Lord of the Rings when it comes to my mother...though he doesn't turn people evil and selfish. He is just the "sweetest, most loving, wonderful, happy, totally perfect and without fault" child my mother has:) Tests have been performed, surveys held, and it is a scientific fact that he poops ice cream. It is widely believed that the mother/son relationship of Bobby Boucher and Mama in The Waterboy was actually based on MY brother's undying love for his own "mama." Love you, Bob! (And not JUST because I'm forced to by mom!! Haaaaaaaaaaa!)

So Happy Mother's Day, Mom!! I love you, even if my name is not Bob:)